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Today I am going to share some more of my poetry from my Book “Lost In Darkness”.
My first piece I wrote when I was “reflecting” on some hard issues in life. I was recalling childhood memories while sitting down in the river valley and trying to figure out some next steps in life by using my childhood as part of a “inner reflection” of who I am today.
I sit here on this bench, my quiet spot,
staring into the world and what it’s got,
See, I've been hiding out in a dark cave,
and all this time avoiding my grave,
did you know that I once was shy,
didn't want anyone or to give it a try,
my world where I hid from you,
because I was always blue,
Stuck as a child in a world of hate,
trying to heal my mental state,
but as a little girl I was afraid,
so I sat here on my bench and prayed,
Growing up can be very hard,
especially when your life was scarred,
and when you’re young you never know,
that in the darkness you can still grow,
But sitting here reflection in silence,
of the choices before me on this fence,
many roads that I can take,
but still hoping I don't make a mistake,
How can I trust those who had shut me out,
swallowed by shadow that made me doubt,
that in a world that left me to die,
I sit and always wonder why,
And when I grow up and leave my time behind,
I know that one day love I will find,
It’s harder when one lives in darkness,
because your whole world is a mess,
But I wish I had a place to call home,
so I can stop being alone,
I wish I had friends to be with,
but I believe friendship is a myth,
I'm tired of being left on a fence,
deciding what to do makes me so tense,
Part of me wants to stay a little girl forever,
the other part of me hopes that I never,
I know that one day I will stumble and fall,
but the world around me is a crumbling wall,
falling down around me as I try to hide,
from what I had lost I solemnly cried,
I'm afraid to let go of my past so dark,
its all I have known for it left its mark,
why am I now so very frightened,
my heart races fast and is tightened,
The world before me which is now at my feet,
where food is scarce to find something to eat,
but I know one day god will save me so,
and give me a home, to heaven I go.
My next piece is about an “ode” to my teddy bear collection. I found a lost teddy bear many years ago and it was the inspiration for this next piece. It got me to think that for most a stuffed animal for some has no value to a person as we grow. But I have always collected stuffed animals especially bunnies as it reminds me of how one can care for something in their youth that brings happiness and comfort.
“Bear With Me”
Bear with me a moment...
But why am I here?...alone,
...sitting here waiting for someone to come along and take me home.
Home? ...what's that?
...I know its a place where people eat sleep and spend time together as a family.
Family?...I don't know what that is?
...someone once told me a family are a group of people with a mom and a dad and maybe a boy or a girl and love each other and give hugs.
Hugs?...another word I don't know.
Hugs are those creepy crawly things...oh wait, those are bugs, but isn't a hug where they wrap arms around you and show you love.
Love?...now that's a word I do know.
I'm a teddy bear after all. So then why am I still sitting here alone and wondering where my home is and the family that left me here where I don't get hugs...don't they love me?
We all need a home, a family, someone to hug and someone to love. So don't leave me behind. Because no matter what happens in life, whether you believe it or not...we all have a home, with a family, someone to hug and someone to love....
so bear with me,
...can I come home with you?
My last piece is about love, finding and losing but holding onto that one person that makes you strong. Winter is a time of passion and hope. Getting rid of the old to get ready for something new. A simple kiss can be more than a kiss, it can be the key to the hidden soul of the heart you have for someone and waiting for that one special kiss...your first of love.
I stand here, on white blankets of snow, holding your hand. Like the stillness of winter,
all I want is the world to stop, for this one special moment. I know that our love may be able to withstand the frosty winter and that one day, we can grow closer because our warm hearts give us the strength to endure the chilly air.
This moment is more than perfect. I feel the warmth of your breath as your lips come close to me. So I stand still, and wait for your kiss. Winter has the charm of life where the branches standstill, and the snow falls down while creating a world of white. Winter gives way to the peace of the world, where time can stand still for an instant, and reflect its beauty.
Each snowflake, not one the same, yet like our hearts that hold the love we all share, is so delicate to the touch that when damaged will never be the same. And so I stand here, waiting for my winters kiss, your hand in mine, and for one moment, a memory that will last a lifetime. I hold you closer to my heart, yet still feel so distant.
I am right where I want to be. Closer to you, for you to see, that when you give me my winters kiss, , my heart will never go cold. For even if we part, I know that we shared a precious moment where I knew I was loved. My tears I shed in the winter of white, where I first had my winters kiss, will never freeze.
So I ask that you love me till the end of time, and when winter comes again next year, we can go to that tree in the park, where we first met and had our winter kiss and know that no matter how much sadness, or cold dark places we walked during the year, we can always remember that we shared something special. A golden heart may show how precious we are, but a winter kiss, shows just how precious life can be, so as I stand here I know that your winter kiss was just for me.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my two poems and one short story. Next week, I will be posting a mini-blog on vacation and travels in the Province of Alberta. For those making trips out to Alberta this summer, you may want to stay tuned.