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This week I want to discuss how emotions, circumstances and things we do can affect the littlest things in our lives. Did you know that I used to be a foster child? Well for the first 12 years I lived out of a suitcase. 30 years ago children like I back then had many parents but no home. Families back then were completely different to how they are today. There are more dysfunctional families than there were in the 70’s and 80’s. Now a days the normal family structure is full of step-parents, half siblings, and even foster care systems plagued with more and more kids from parents who don’t want to be parents, unplanned pregnancies or ravaged by abuse.
Earlier this week I became an official foster parent to a 12 year old girl. Now there is a long story behind this but I won’t get into details. I’ve seen more and more parents in situations where the family structures of parents vs kids are becoming more and more ‘distant’. Being a foster child myself and now a parent, I know what it is like to not have actual parents out there to love and care for. When I was adopted, I learned what true family was. It saddens me these days to see families fight, kids telling their parents ‘I hate you’ and families spending more time on a computer or their iPad/iPhone texting and glued to other electronics, that the definition of family is starting to get distorted by the virtual online world and in a way causing more problems with ‘the manners of families’. Now a lot of you are probably thinking “whoa she’s talking about a lot of things here but doesn’t make much sense’. Well the point I am trying to make is that we need to start going back to the roots of family and start bonding regardless of how busy we are, and our obsessive online behaviours and start respecting the core of the family foundation. One doesn’t “find” time for family, one “MAKES” the time.
Ok...so what does all this have to do with the 12 year old girl and becoming her foster mom? Although I have gained a new family member (so to speak), As parents, we set rules and guidelines to protect our kids and to help them grow by instilling the means of them learning responsibility. Kids don’t understand this as they see the world as a giant playground. So for all those parents out there, hold onto your kids, and make sure that your priority is putting that family first. We all don’t need elaborate or expensive trinkets or fancy dinners, what we do need is each other.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post and I leave you with a poem from my poetry book “Lost in Darkness”
No Place To Go
I carry my suitcase with no place to go,
tears trickle down as my head hangs low,
I wish for a family and someone to hold,
a place to wake up from and out of the cold,
My heart was shattered, though you cannot see,
mommy and daddy, just didn't want me,
battered and beaten, black and blue,
ever wondering can I come home with you?
Too many places, but not one my bed,
I grow so weary to rest my head,
I hold my teddy so I'm not alone,
wishing for god to find me a home,
Wandering places, trying to find hope,
because I'm invisible and trying to cope,
watching the world as it passes me by,
I'm sick and tired and I want to cry,
I pray to god and ask him so,
to find me a home and a place to grow,
to become a person that someone will share,
to welcome me with love and lots of care,
Like a dream or a prayer that is not heard,
I stand here in silence, without saying a word,
I search for you and a place of hope,
to stop me from the end of this rope,
But there is nothing more for me to say,
my light is gone and so is my way,
I travel alone with my suitcase in hand,
for a mommy and daddy wouldn't that be grand,
My lone companion 'bunny bear' and me,
will continue to hope for a home to be,
but for now i know that it isn't so,
I still have no home or no place to go.