Sundays with Sarah (8)

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Hi everyone, welcome once again to Sunday's with Sarah.

This week I will be focusing on the "Women's Guide to Re-exploration"...in other words:

Finding yourself in the world...all over again.

So to all the ladies out there, do you feel overworked, overwhelmed and underappreciated?

Do you feel like you give and give and get nothing, or very little, back in

return? Are you feeling like you've lost yourself? Are you feeling unfeminine, un-sexy, and unattractive?

These are very common feelings for women. We are, in essence, martyrs.

Everyone else always come first. All you need to do is watch make over

shows or listen to women talking and you'll hear the same theme over and

over. "I always buy clothes for my kids first."

"My husband doesn't like doing that so I don't get to do it."

"I have to take my kids to - fill in one of a myriad of activities - so I can't come."

"I haven't gotten my hair done, bought new clothes, had a manicure, had a shower (!) in ages."

The mantra of women is "no, no, I can wait." Well, ladies - STOP IT! You deserve the best as much as your family, your friends, your work and even the stranger on the corner. The remarkable, possibly even counter-intuitive for many of us, thing is that when we take care of ourselves we have more time and energy for everyone else! And we do it with more joy and fullness because we aren't completely burned out.

Think about it. When you're feeling good, you give more generously than when you feel put upon. When you've had a fun night out with the girls, you come home fresh and excited to your partner. When you're pursuing something that you love - from scrapbooking to the stock market - you have more to offer those around you because your tank is full.

I believe the secret is being fully in touch with who you are and what makes you tick. The Sensuality of being "YOU!". Sensuality is about the senses - being in touch with your world on an inner and outer level.

When you are feeling truly full and sensual and true to who you are what you want, you are sensual, you are beautiful. There are many simple ways to get in touch.

Here is a list of getting in touch activities. I challenge you to do a new one every week and see how much more expansive you feel toward those around you.

1. Take a walk. Leave your headphones and cell phone behind. This can be in nature or in your neighborhood, it doesn’t matter. Just get out and observe. Who in your community has a dog? Are there a lot of children? Which houses have great curb appeal? Who has a beautiful garden? Where is the mailbox and the bus stop? In the woods, what flowers do you see? Look for berries and bugs. Notice the moss. Listen for water. What do you smell? Can you identify any bird calls?

Photograph by Amy Stewart

2. Eat at the table without the TV. Whether you live alone or with others, practice enjoying your food. Take the time to chew. Feel the texture. What spices can you identify? What makes this particular food appealing to you – or not. If you’re with others, enjoy the fine art of dinner conversation.

3. Practice the art of listening. Go out with someone to a quiet restaurant, coffee or tea shop. Or have tea at home. Ask the other person questions. Resist the urge to jump in and give your opinions and advice. See what you can learn about this person – their values and struggles. Ask if you can share what you’ve observed and ask for feedback.

4. Make dinner. Don’t use any prepared foods or mixes. Buy everything fresh. If you have a farmer’s market in your city, use it. Experience the sights, sounds and smells around you. Talk to the vendors and learn about what it takes to be an independent food producer. Ask for their input into your plans. Cut the vegetables and meat yourself. Use fresh herbs if available. Keep it simple if you don’t usually cook, more elaborate if you do. Take your time and experience every step. Eat it with candlelight and flowers, preferably with a friend or loved one.

5. Dress in clothes that make you feel wonderful. Wear colors and fabrics you love. Choose articles that, when you look in the mirror, make you think - I look great! Wear sexy underwear and great shoes. Do your hair and wear fragrance.

6. Make eye contact with people when speaking to them and smile. Make sure to do this in a friendly, not creepy, way. If you make eye contact with a stranger, smile. If someone holds the door open for you or does some other random act of kindness, look them in the eye, smile and say “Thank you”.

7. Draw. Do a craft. Do something creative. Enjoy the process without having an end result in mind.

8. Read. Curl up in your favorite chair with a good book – either a previously loved one or a recommendation from a friend. Lose yourself in the moment and let your imagination roam.

9. Go out with friends and leave your cell phone behind. We used to go out all the time without any form of contact. Experience that freedom again.

10. Put the iPod or other world tune-out device in a drawer and go about your day. See how much you can observe that you may have otherwise missed. Notice smells and colors. What or who have you passed by everyday without a glance? What interesting things have you missed?

11. Spend time with children. Go to a playground. Volunteer with a children’s charity. Spend time with your own kids (or nieces/nephews/grandchildren or friend’s kids) and play.

Photograph by Amy Stewart

12. People watch. Sit in a park or coffee shop and notice their moods and body language. Make up back stories for the fun of it.

Remember. There are many roads in life that we all take. The stresses of life makes us forget about who we are inside, not just out. So make sure you can treat yourself. Its a sensual world out there. So go out and enjoy!

Photograph by Amy Stewart

Do something TODAY and everyday that makes you feel fabulous. Your family and friends and and even that inner child we all forget about, will thank you. You will thank you!

Everyone out there is amazing and has amazing skills and talents. Go out and show the world.